let me run away, i need to leave!

i feel like i want to die. i paint on my smile everyday and act as if everything is OK. its not. 3 times this week I've cried myself to sleep. and i don't know why but I'm just so frustrated i don't know what else to do i just...cry. I've been so stressed lately. I'm mad all the time and i just want to jump out a window and run away from everything. school is not helping i know I'm going to die when i see him and that's what makes me cry harder. i haven't been like this in months and all the drama people are unknowingly putting on me is killing me on the inside so not only do i have to worry bout me, my boyfriend, my family, school and dance i now have to worry about my friends that have jumped off the deep end and cant get out. there is nothing i can do but try and bring two of them together again so they can help each other cause i DON'T know what to do! there is nothing i can do and its stressing me out! plus my mom is flipping out cause my bro is going to school in like 3 days. my toes hurt like a bitch and i have to go to the Dr soon. i have to get ready for the summer reading which kills me cause i hate it! my head always hurts so bad but i cant take aspirin cause when i do take it i take too many and i fear that one day i will make myself so sick from it...maybe that's what i want i don't know i just don't understand anything! I WANT TO DISAPPEAR! i want to go far away! i want to move to a place where i can start over and forget all the things that keep me up in the middle of the night. i want it all to go away. i beg every night for it all to end. i love tom with everything in me but i still cryy and i don't know whyy. well i have nothing left in me bye